Responsibility vs Victimhood

When we take responsibility, we have the power to change our circumstance.

When we blame others, we become the victims of circumstance.

Taking responsibility is empowering. When we take responsibility for our actions and our choices, we can shape our own destiny.

I work with someone who is losing her job and in her mind it’s because everyone hates her. She rants on and on about how she’s being targeted and how she just doesn’t understand why she’s being let go.

This woman has lost her job because she isn’t doing the job she was hired for. She always looks busy, but nothing gets done or it gets done after the deadline.

In her mind, she is an innocent Victim and notice the capital V. As long as she blames others, she will remain a victim and she will lose job after job.  She’s been given every opportunity to learn the job correctly, but she refuses to change.

In Belly Dance Land, I’ve sometimes seen similar scenarios.

I’ve heard dancers say, “I never get asked to dance!” Well here’s a fact: if you want to dance, show up and be supportive.

As a sponsor, when I think of who to ask to teach or perform, the dancers that come to mind are the ones who come to events, the ones who support my efforts and those of others, the ones who don’t ‘dance and dash’ but stay to cheer on the rest of the performers.

I’ve also heard, “I didn’t win the contest because the judges were biased.” “I didn’t win the contest because those judges didn’t know what they were doing.”

If you didn’t win, there could be many reasons. The main reason people don’t win is lack of practice and preparation. 

When a dancer blames the judges, she’s a victim. When she decides to pay attention to where the judges showed she needs improvement and then practices, she takes responsibility and is empowered.

I once had an exceptional student. She was a stay-at-home mom and practiced several hours a day just like I did when I first started dancing. She quickly became an excellent dancer.

A couple of other students in the same class were moving at a slower rate and confronted me saying that I was showing favoritism to the better dancer and that’s why she was so good so quickly. I told them that she was better because she worked harder, practicing several hours a day.

These ladies both had such great potential, but they became angry and quit dancing because they were victims. If they had taken responsibility and practiced or just allowed themselves to move at the pace that was best for them, they could have become just as excellent and perhaps even better than the dancer they were jealous of.

When we take responsibility, we are in charge of our lives! And for me, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Staying Empowered,