Change is happening!

I'm doing it!

My word for 2017 is CHANGE! Last week I wrote that in order to accomplish my heart's desires and goals I have to make some changes.

This week I am beginning to implement said changes.

I used a photo of my messy desk so you'all can see my reality. I used to stress about the mess, stress because I felt like I should be more neat and tidy and more organized.

Then, I finally understood that my brain just doesn't work that way! 

If I put something in a file folder, it's just gone. Out of sight, out of mind. You know! It's like when an infant focuses on yanking on your necklace and you tuck it under your collar and they immediately just go on to the next thing which is probably yanking on your earring. 

So, I need 'all the things' piled around me to keep my attention. 

A few years ago, I figured out I'm ADD, that my brain doesn't work in a 'normal' way and what a relief it was to finally have some answers. 

I'm also very creative, and my brain goes many directions within seconds. And, I'm perhaps a bit manic at times which my 16 hour work day this past Monday might attest to.

So, my new changes have included setting up a system to stay focused. Now mind you, this is something I've tried to do for years. But this year I'm doing it differently. Change! That word again.

My biggest struggle has been with consistency and follow up. It's the out of sight out of mind thing. For instance, I write a book, publish it and it's done. I go onto the next project or book instead of following up with telling people (beyond my personal circle) about my wonderful new book and getting it out into the world.

The sheet you see on top of my laptop is something I created this past Manic Monday. It has a daily list of to do things, a monthly theme and space to write the top 3-5 things I need to do that day. I also made a daily study list for my school work.

I have also created an actual daily routine! And, so far I'm sticking to it!

Each morning after my meditation and coffee, I work on my own business stuff until noon or 1 p.m. The rest of the day is for my school work and any appointments or committments I might have.

This may seem pretty mundane for most of you, but I've never been able to have a real routine. I had all the things I needed to do and many lists, but my brain would start to bounce. I'd get pulled in so many directions and lose track of time and get behind. I'd either feel pressured or feel like I had failed.

So having a routine and check off lists are my start to doing things differently.

Mondays are reserved just for my own stuff and this Monday it was 16 hours of full speed ahead getting shiz done! I loved it.

Here are just a few of the things I did. I updated my Mezdulene website, updated my events, created pages for my Divine Feminine retreats, changed the name of my Jareeda Facebook page to Bliss Belly Dance Books, lowered the price of Belly Dance Transformations on Amazon and Kindle for a sale, (not an easy task), made my daily list thingys and that's just a few of the things I did.

I really feel a sense of accomplishment which is a great feeling for me. I love accomplishing shiz!

Since then I've followed my routine and done even more like plan the workshop I'll be doing in Salem, Oregon on March 4th. I'm so excited about that one and will be posting more soon!

And I hope some of you find my new teaching tips section below helpful. 

So that's my week! I hope your week is equally fabulous! I hope that 2017 brings you exactly what you need and also what you want. 

TEACHING TIP

In my opinion, one of the best things about belly dance is that there is no exact format. While some dance forms are regimented and taught exactly the same everywhere in the world, belly dance is like a living force that has no limitations.

On the other hand, because there is no universal accreditation, anyone can hang out a shingle and begin to teach.

I feel that it's important for a teacher to have credentials that include performance experience. A good teacher will not only teach how to dance, she will also create performance opportunities for her students.

Dance is a creative expression. It's all well and good to learn how to dance. It's great exercise and classes can be fun, a good escape from daily stresses and a good way to meet other women.

However, it's on the stage where true metamorphosis happens. This is where students overcome fear, where they learn to express their unique essence and gain confidence. This is where empowerment happens.

So, as a teacher, I feel that my job is much more than teaching my students how to dance. It's also teaching them costuming, entrances, exits, choreography, improvisation and stage presence. It's encouraging them to step out of their comfort zone and grow and blossom.

Provide your students with performance opportunities! Have a hafla at the end of a class series, start a festival, ask for dance spots at local events. And if you really want to see them grow, encourage them to enter a competition. That's when things get serious and the real practice begins!

Happy 2017!

My word for 2017 is CHANGE!!

One definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. 

We all know people who whine and complain about their job or their marriage and the years just slide on by and nothing changes. They keep hoping that their job will improve or their partner will change into a nicer person, but they don't DO anything about it! Look for another job! Get marriage counseling or a divorce. You have the power to stop the insanity!

I'm talking to myself here! I keep doing the same thing over and over and hoping to make a living doing it.

It's not happening...

It's time for me to make some changes, to change what I do. I love working for myself and for years I've wanted a thriving business doing what I love, sharing my passion of belly dance and helping empower women as they gain self-esteem and confidence.

I also love to write about belly dance so I'll use this example about my business and needed change.

I've published five books. FIVE! They are all great and one is all about how belly dance has healed and transformed lives. But I never promoted them. I just went on to the next book.

Really?

Yes, really.

So, starting now, I'm changing the way I run my business. Beginning now, I am learning how to promote and market. I'm paying for business coaching, taking classes and doing what it takes to make the changes I need in order to have a thriving business. 

Belly Dance Transformations is inspirational as well as very interesting. Aunty Rocky and Dalia Carella top the list of dozens of dancers and one drummer who share their personal stories of how belly dance has healed and transformed their lives. You are guaranteed to be moved. 

On a different note, I've always wanted to travel. For many years I've waited until I had enough money. The years keep going by and I keep waiting for that day when I can afford to travel.

I'm changing that. I'm not waiting anymore. I've booked two international trips. Yes, two! 

In February I'm going to Mexico. I'll be spending time on a warm beach in the midst of a cold winter. Yes!

In June I'm going to Scotland to explore ancient and sacred sites. Two dream destinations in one year.  Join me as I post my adventures on Facebook!

Change is good!

Love, Light and Happiest of New Years to you and yours. May you do what it takes to manifest your dreams. You deserve the absolute best that life has to offer.

Blessings,
Mezdulene

Summer Gigs!

 

Summertime always brings opportunities for festival dancing. No matter where you live, I’m sure there is some kind of festival to celebrate something about your locality.  So don’t be shy about asking for a performance slot.

The Blackberry Festival in my town is in it’s 28th year, and in nearby towns there is Ocean Fest, a Seafood Festival, Cranberry Festival, Pioneer Days Festival and the list goes on. We also have a local Art Festival.

One thing I’ve learned dancing at these types of events is to expect the unexpected and to stand my ground.

One year, while waiting to go on at the Charlie Tuna Festival in Charleston, Oregon, we were told by the person in charge that they were running late and the band needed to go on before us so it would be another hour until we could perform.  So, we waited, and we waited. More than an hour went by and our costumes became saturated with the smell of barbequed tuna. Finally we went on.

This happened again and it seemed like the belly dancers were always the ones who had to wait or were pushed aside for the ‘more important’ acts.

So, I made up my mind it wasn’t going to happen again. Sure enough, at our next event, it happened again. This time I responded with, “I’m sorry, but we have something else we have to do, so we either need to dance now as planned or we’ll have to leave.”

First I have to respect myself and my art and every time I stand my ground I gain the respect of the event producers.

It rarely happens anymore, but then BAM! It happened again! This time there was no graceful way around it. The sponsor accidently double-booked our spot so we were told we had to share our hour with a group of Samoan dancers.

So, on the spot, I had to cut half our show. It wasn’t fun, but the Samoans were one of our best and most positive audiences. 

Then there was the time one of my students was dancing, and a drunk from the beer garden climbed onto the stage and started to gyrate around.  

I’m a momma bear when it comes to my girls, and with sword in hand, I went onto the stage with one of those ‘looks that kill’ on my face. He saw me coming and even in his inebriated state he could see I meant business. He looked at me, looked at my sword and then jumped off the stage to the delight of the audience and relief of my student.

Because I live in a fairly close-minded community, I have a rule that when we dance at festivals we wear belly covers and either tights or harem pants. Yes, it’s hot, really hot. And yes, my students hate this rule! But, since I started this, the smart remarks and complaints about our costuming stopped and the respect we received in our community has increased. 

Despite the heat and the other hardships, festivals are a very fun place to perform and the best benefit is public exposure, a chance to be seen and to promote your classes and availability.

So, go out there and get some summer gigs!

Happy Summer,  Mezdulene

 

Weeks of Adventures!

Rebecca tries to catch a mole at med fest!

Rebecca tries to catch a mole at med fest!

Time seems to slip through my mind like water through my fingers when I dip my hands in a pond and try to scoop it up and hold it with most of it sliding through and back into it’s source.
 
I can’t hold time any more than I can hold water. Sometimes it makes me crazy and sometimes it just is what it is and I just observe it and find peace with it.
 
So much has happened in my life the past few months. Change is the only constant in my life and sometimes I get sucked into the changes and lose track of time and space.
 
But I’m back with an update on my recent adventures.
 
My cousin, Kathe Alkoudsi, owner of Cartouche Costuming, decided to retire and I bravely took over her business! I changed the name to 'Bliss Belly Dance Boutique' and thus began a life-changing adventure.

Check out my Ebay Store and my Facebook Page! I am sooooo excited!!!
 
During the last week of May, I flew to Kansas to stay with Kathe. She picked me up at the airport and drove me directly to a fabulous Greek restaurant where we met up with Siham Ali and I was treated to wonderful food and a very fantastic show by Zaina Ali.
 
Then we spent the week packing 88 boxes of belly dance costuming goodness from Egypt and Syria and shipped 5 pallets with 3,000 lbs. of it to my studio in Oregon. 88 boxes! In my studio!
 
Where does a person put 3,000 lbs of costuming?  Everywhere!
 
Fortunately I have a fairly large living room so I still have a place to hold dance classes! Someday, we’ll dance in the studio again where the mirrors live. Until then, I’m unpacking and I’ve opened an Ebay store.
 
So many beautiful costumes!
 
After returning home from Kansas, I hit the ground running right to Belly Dancer USA. It was a fabulous weekend and we had more entries than ever. Our new categories were a hit, the professional live music improvisation category with music by Americanistan made for a great show, and the Jungle Boogie improvisation category on Sunday was a surprise hit and so much fun, we were all energized.
 
With just a couple of days to recover from putting on Belly Dancer USA, I headed north for the Portland Middle Eastern Dance and Music Camp. What a wonderful weekend it was filled with dance and music classes. The days were full of live music as musicians practiced between classes.
 
Hanging out with Dalia Carella and Amel Tafsout, two Goddesses of belly dance, was a special treat. The dance classes were varied and fun and the shows were fabulous! It rained all weekend, but it didn’t put a damper on camp. It was a delight to go to a camp where someone beside me was in charge!
 
The next weekend I headed north again, this time to the Salem World Beat Festival. This is an amazing event with ‘villages’ from around the world. As you walk through the beautiful park you can hear bagpipes, African drums, Native American drums, Japanese Taiko drums and see dances from around the world. It’s a wonderful event. Of course dancing to Americanistan was my highlight along with hanging with my Salem friends.
 
My last big venture was to the Seattle Mediterranean Fantasy Festival where I vended my new costumes. It was an incredible weekend where every time I turned around, the Universe sent me help.

I was alone with no helper and dreaded unloading and setting up by myself. I got to the festival sight and started to unload, and here came Michelle Marion to help me, an unexpected surprise. I couldn't put the canopy up alone but Jamilla and Julie helped me. I forgot stakes and here came Joseph to stake my canopy down and then he and Jamilla came back later to help me put the sides up.
 
Best of all, Rebecca Wolf-Nail helped me all weekend and sold out her newest belly dance mystery, “I’ll Die at Your Wedding,” which I’m looking forward to reading. She also tried to catch a mole as it pushed dirt up right in front of us!
 
Overall, it was a very fun weekend and the best part was staying with my friend and mentor, Halima.
 
The next weekend was my third annual Divine Feminine Retreat which was filled with sacred events and bonding with heart sisters. I’m already planning next year’s retreat!
 
Whew!
 
So, you can see it’s been non-stop which is very exciting for me. To be healthy and vital enough to do so much traveling and dancing is just a miraculous feeling for me.
 
I feel like I have my life back.
 
I have to run now and prepare for my Divine Feminine Dance workshop at Unity Church tomorrow.
 
Blessings to all of you and have a great summer,
 
Mezdulene

No Competition

I once talked to a dancer who lived in a city of more than 1,000,000 people and she was complaining about how there were too many teachers in town and not enough students. I asked her how many teachers she thought there were and she said at least six and a new one just moved into town!

What a drama trauma she was undergoing worrying about a 7th teacher in a city of a million people.

Really?

I live in a town with less than 5,000 residents. We have three whole stoplights!  I’ve had a belly dance studio here for years. I don’t make my entire living teaching belly dance, but I have made a ton of friends and I’m known throughout the town. I could have more students if I wanted, but I’m happy teaching just a few classes and directing my troupe.

My studio is actually three miles out of town in a rural area, and my students come from as far as 40 miles away.

For a few years, I was the only belly dance teacher in the area. Then a couple of other dancers started classes and a couple of my students started teaching and at one time there were seven teachers holding classes. That’s right, seven teachers.

Another studio opened in the nearby town of 25,000 people, and people talked about my ‘competition.’

Was I dramatized? Of course not.

I don’t believe in competition. I believe that the more classes in the area, the more dancers we have and the more exposure and education our community receives about belly dancing. More dancers and more community acceptance, the more dance opportunities we have and the more fun there is to be had.

The other studio closed after a couple of years, many of the teachers stopped teaching and for awhile I was the only one teaching again.

When I moved to this community, twenty years ago, people equated belly dancers with strippers and the local dancers were dancing in bars. I haven’t heard a stripper remark in several years and we are widely accepted in the community. I recently gave a talk in a healing group about the healing benefits of belly dance and from there received an invitation to give a talk about belly dance in a local church.

We have come a very long way towards acceptance in our community and I couldn’t have done it alone!

Now there are three of us teaching in our large, rural county and we are all having fun.  We have a wonderful belly dance community and lots of dancing opportunities.

So, those of you who live in big cities? Don’t worry about competition; just get out there and get busy teaching. Make your own opportunities. Don’t let anything stop you!

Graceful Exits

 

Catitude 3: Leaving a troupe/class gracefully

I’ve been teaching for decades now and consider myself a matriarch of belly dance. I’ve seen a lot of things and had a lot of adventures. Most of my dance experiences have been very positive, uplifting and I dare say, fun!

However!

There have been some less than positive times in my dance career, and most of them were due to students and troupe mates leaving in a less than graceful manner.

I once wrote an article about this and got tons of feedback from teachers and troupe directors with similar experiences who appreciated that they weren’t the only ones!

I’m going to share some of these incidents and also share how these ladies could have done things differently.  Some of my stories are composites, based on my experience plus that of others.

Sometimes students outgrow their teachers, and sometimes they just become too big for their britches.  I think that as teachers, we’ve all had such students. When teaching a new step in class, they tell us we’re doing it wrong or they argue with us about terminology or anything else.

I once had a student who became such a problem that I encouraged her to start teaching on her own since she seemed to think she knew better than me.

She thought this was a great idea, and so did I until she couldn’t get her own students and decided she wanted mine.

I’ve always encouraged my students to take from as many teachers as possible and often have guest teachers and sponsor workshops so that my students receive the opportunity to become as diverse as possible.

I’ve also had several students start taking from me and then meet another teacher in the area and switch to her classes. This is fine with me because we can’t all meet everyone’s needs.

What isn’t okay is for another teacher to take my students aside and tell them she is a much better teacher and they should take from her, putting me down and making false promises. There are plenty of students to go around which I’ll be addressing in my next blog.

And, yes, this happened to me and it was so blatant that it became a joke among my students. “We must not be any good because she hasn’t tried to get us to take her class.” And the students who did switch never danced again and were too embarrassed to come back to my classes after having a less than positive experience in hers.

So, if you feel your teacher has taught you all she can and you want to leave, please do so gracefully and be respectful. The graceful way to make an exit is the talk to your teacher and let her know you are moving on. This way you don’t burn any bridges.

Remember, your first teacher is the one who gave you your start on this amazing journey of dance. If you want to go further, that’s okay. It’s not okay to badmouth her which makes you look bad. There is an old saying that if you discount the teacher, you are also discounting the lesson. Be grateful for what she has given you and move along.

As troupe directors, we’ve all had dancers leave our troupe.

I once had a small troupe of three dancers. My most dedicated dancer started missing practice without calling as she always had in the past. It was strange, but I was busy and didn’t think too much of it.

One day, I stopped by another friend/teacher’s studio to drop off some music and when I walked in, there was my troupe member, who was also a good friend (or so I thought) practicing with my friend’s  troupe. Unfortunately, I was young and sensitive and I was devastated, feeling they had both gone behind my back instead of just being honest. When I tearfully asked them why they didn’t tell me what was going on, they both said they didn’t want to hurt my feelings.

Really?  I call bull shit on that one.

Another gut punch came when I had three ladies quit troupe because they ‘needed a break.’ I asked them if they were going to continue dancing together, and they said, no, that they were just taking some time off.

I walked into a dance festival just in time to see them performing on the stage. It felt like a punch in the gut as well as a stab in the back, and I had to just stop, breathe, and put on a supportive face.

So, what is a good way to leave a troupe? For heaven’s sake, just be honest. If you want to dance somewhere else, who cares? Good for you! It’s the subterfuge and lies that cause pain, and dishonesty is always a bad way to start something new. 

While I hate losing troupe members, because I love and miss them, I appreciate it when a member talks to me or the group and tells us like it is. One dancer said, she was just spread too thin and had to make the choice to leave troupe so that she had more family time. One left us for the roller derby. True story. A couple of dancers left to dance with other people because they felt the need for a change or fell in love with a different style.

Honesty is always the best policy in any relationship. It’s not always easy to tell someone you are leaving, but it’s better to leave with a clear conscience rather than deception.

And, what I said about burning bridges? Wouldn’t you rather maintain a good relationship with your past teachers and troupe mates then be crossed off their list? You never know what the future holds. You might want to make belly dancing your profession and your reputation will depend on how you treat people.

Always let honesty and kindness be your guides.

Taking the high road,

Mezdulene

P.S. Please feel free to comment or email me and please feel free to forward my words to anyone you feel might benefit.

www.mezdulene.com

www.bellydancerusa.com

'Cattitude'

I advocate love and kindness in all things. I believe in being supportive to my friends and my fellow dancers. I’m truly a nice person. However…. 

There are those times when I see something or experience something that really pushes me over the edge and I just have to vent.

Cattitude is what I call having a catty attitude.  I think we all have occasional catty moments, but it’s how we handle them that makes a huge difference.

If I’m having an overwhelming and catty moment, I just have to vent. Now there are good ways to vent and there are bad ways to vent.

Believe it or not, I’ve seen two different event sponsors vent on the microphone in front of an audience. One was upset about a no-show performer and the other practically called an audience member a pedophile because he broke the rules and video-taped dancers including a teenager.

I’ve also heard dancers smack-talking in the audience, in dressing rooms and bathrooms about other dancers.

Personally, I have my catty moments in private.  I have a couple of good friends I can vent with when I have that overwhelming urge. When my friend Jasel and I attend an event, we hold in anything less-than-positiveuntil we are back in the privacy of our hotel room and then we talk.

So, what kind of things bring on our cattitude? There was that dancer that wore a costume that was so inappropriate, we just had to look away. Who was her teacher? Where was her mother? Why didn’t someone tell her that crack kills?

Then there was the troupe who danced to a sacred prayer song, and the troupe who said their dance was traditional Persian and then did splits and other inappropriate movements.

As we talk to each other about these kinds of things, it’s really more than being catty. It’s also about problem solving. For instance, the costuming issues we observed helped us develop a policy about costuming. If someone is performing at one of our events and they have an inappropriate costume or a costuming mishap, we turn off the music and motion for them to leave the stage.  We announce that we are having technical difficulties with their music so that they aren’t embarrassed.

As for the troupe examples, these type of things motivate us to be the best we can be by researching and never claiming to be traditional anything.

Our cattitude is never mean-spirited and is often productive. It has also inspired articles, blogs and made us better teachers as we learn from things we have observed and experienced.

Always learning,

Mezdulene

Responsibility vs Victimhood

When we take responsibility, we have the power to change our circumstance.

When we blame others, we become the victims of circumstance.

Taking responsibility is empowering. When we take responsibility for our actions and our choices, we can shape our own destiny.

I work with someone who is losing her job and in her mind it’s because everyone hates her. She rants on and on about how she’s being targeted and how she just doesn’t understand why she’s being let go.

This woman has lost her job because she isn’t doing the job she was hired for. She always looks busy, but nothing gets done or it gets done after the deadline.

In her mind, she is an innocent Victim and notice the capital V. As long as she blames others, she will remain a victim and she will lose job after job.  She’s been given every opportunity to learn the job correctly, but she refuses to change.

In Belly Dance Land, I’ve sometimes seen similar scenarios.

I’ve heard dancers say, “I never get asked to dance!” Well here’s a fact: if you want to dance, show up and be supportive.

As a sponsor, when I think of who to ask to teach or perform, the dancers that come to mind are the ones who come to events, the ones who support my efforts and those of others, the ones who don’t ‘dance and dash’ but stay to cheer on the rest of the performers.

I’ve also heard, “I didn’t win the contest because the judges were biased.” “I didn’t win the contest because those judges didn’t know what they were doing.”

If you didn’t win, there could be many reasons. The main reason people don’t win is lack of practice and preparation. 

When a dancer blames the judges, she’s a victim. When she decides to pay attention to where the judges showed she needs improvement and then practices, she takes responsibility and is empowered.

I once had an exceptional student. She was a stay-at-home mom and practiced several hours a day just like I did when I first started dancing. She quickly became an excellent dancer.

A couple of other students in the same class were moving at a slower rate and confronted me saying that I was showing favoritism to the better dancer and that’s why she was so good so quickly. I told them that she was better because she worked harder, practicing several hours a day.

These ladies both had such great potential, but they became angry and quit dancing because they were victims. If they had taken responsibility and practiced or just allowed themselves to move at the pace that was best for them, they could have become just as excellent and perhaps even better than the dancer they were jealous of.

When we take responsibility, we are in charge of our lives! And for me, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Staying Empowered,

Mezdulene

 

 

Manifesting My Heart's Desire

Manifesting My Heart’s Desire

This past week has been a full one. In my last blog, “I Gave Up on Myself,” I mentioned that my heart’s desire was to make my living with belly dance and healing. I’d like to thank those of you who emailed me and shared your own feelings and experiences. I want you to know that I really appreciated it.

I spent over 40 hours in three days last week working on my belly dance business and I loved it! I love feeling in control of my own destiny and love feeling a sense of accomplishment.

First I made a huge list of things I needed or wanted to do. It was a long list and included the next six books I want to create and publish and lists of things I need to do for Spring Oasis, Belly Dancer USA and my annual retreat.  Then I prioritized what needed to be done now and what could wait, and I worked on setting goals.

Here is some personal insight about me: I am fabulous at having ideas, I love to plan new things and I have attention deficit disorder. Can you say, “squirrel?” Yes, I have a tendency to run in five different directions and I am very easily distracted. My greatest challenge is staying focused and following through.

For instance, about a year ago, I asked several people to do Amazon reviews of ‘Belly Dance Transformations.’ Then I was immediately on to the next thing.  Last week I remembered to check and see if they wrote the reviews. Only two of them had posted a review. Two.

Now if I want to have a successful business, I’m pretty sure I need to follow up on things sooner than a year. Yes, pretty sure.

I’ve always been a list maker, but often lost my lists. I tried using a computer program and ended up losing everything when my hard drive crashed, so I’m developing a system to help keep my brain on track, help me stay focused and help me remember to follow through.

So far it seems to be working, and I am so excited about this!

I hope you have a fabulous week and if you feel like reading a great belly dance book full of stories about how belly dance has transformed and empowered, here it is! ‘Belly Dance Transformations!’

I need to go bead on a troupe belt,

Mezdulene

 

I gave up on myself....

I gave up on myself....

I gave up on myself.
 
For many years my heart’s desire has been to make my living with belly dance and healing work. My dream is to pay my bills by teaching and writing about the dance and teaching and doing healing. I went through some hard times in my personal life and then my health crashed and then I gave up on my belief that I could do this thing, this heart’s desire thing. I got a ‘real’ job and made plans to go back to school so that I could get a better ‘real’ job. And then, three weeks ago, I took an Angelic Reiki workshop, and my life shifted again.
 
Since then, two beautiful women appeared in my life and told me how much I inspired them and I was shown that I had a positive influence on these ladies that I rarely saw in person, an influence through my words and my example.
 
I started to feel the dream re-awaken, and I started to believe again.
 
I’m not sure what’s next for me. I told my family and friends that I was going back to school to finish my degree, and I don’t want to look like an idiot or a flake.  While it seemed like a good idea at the time to get a traditional degree so I could get a good traditional job and stop struggling financially, the thought of it doesn’t feed my soul. 
 
I’m a free spirit, and I’ve been trying to clip my own wings and it doesn’t feel good. It hurts to give up my heart’s desire, hurts to stop believing in my dream. It’s a constant inner-ache that I’ve tried to tamp down and ignore.
 
So, I’m looking at that and I have this continuous internal struggle going on trying to decide what to do, trying to figure out what’s best for me and how to live my dream and eat at the same time.
 
Writing this isn’t easy. It feels like I’m exposing something deep and personal, and important and empowering. This is real, and as a writer, it’s important to me to be real, to step out of the fear, to stop writing what I think people want to hear and just write what is my genuine, authentic, truth.  It’s always been easy to write about the dance, to be real when it comes to my passion, not so easy to write about my guts.
 
I’m doing some soul-searching and making a commitment to myself to start living my dream, to start believing again in myself and my abilities. I have another belly dance book bubbling up inside of me and I’m studying business books and I’m working on a plan.
 
If any of you out there have something deep inside of you that wants to come out, something that you want to share with the world but maybe didn’t believe was good enough or important enough, or perhaps a dream or heart’s desire of another sort that you need supported, please take a stand with me. I’ll believe in you, you can believe in me and together we will believe in ourselves.
 
I would love to hear from you either publicly as a response to this blog or privately in an email or Facebook message. Let’s support each other as we begin to build a strong foundation for our dreams and desires to manifest.
 
Believing in myself,

Mezdulene

Divinely Feminine Belly Dancer
Author and Publisher
Reiki Master

Read More

Belly Dance is Healing

I was recently asked to give a presentation on the healing aspects of belly dance to a local healing group, and I thought it would make a great topic for my blog.

Belly dance is an incredible and powerful healing modality for women, and even a few brave men who have come to this most feminine of art forms.

I once read a Facebook post by a woman who said, I only do my healing work now and no longer teach belly dance classes. Huh?  I know she was referring to Reiki and coaching, but how did she miss the healing powers of belly dance? ’m a Reiki Master, do Shamanic healing work and spiritual counseling, but belly dancing has been the most profound healing tool I’ve experienced.It heals on all levels. Physically it tones the muscles of the body, strengthens the muscles and joints and helps with posture and spinal alignment.  Emotionally, it helps us gain self-esteem and confidence, gives us a social outlet with other women and offers us the opportunity for fun. Spiritually, it connects us with the divine feminine, that holy sense of ourselves as spiritual beings and the connection to other women through time and space as we do movements that have been done for thousands of years, movements being done by thousands of women around the earth and movements that will continue to be done long into the future.

I have been honored to witness women walk into my beginner class with eyes down cast and shoulders slumped making a beeline to the back row and watch them blossom into confident women with heads held high, posture straight and smiles galore. I’ve watched them gain the self-empowerment to get out of abusive relationships, watched them heal past abuse issues and watched them go from walking with a cane or back brace as well as healing their physical issues.

In the Middle East there are healing dances such as the Zar where women dance themselves into a frenzy and collapse, releasing what is believed to be evil spirits or in our terms emotional distresses.

Belly dance helps us release blockages in our bodies where we’ve been conditioned to hold onto emotional baggage. It helps balance our Chakras and so much more.

On more than one occasion, I’ve danced while physically ill and been healed. I once sponsored a belly dance festival and the week before had some strange symptoms I hadn’t felt before. Someone suggested it might be high blood pressure so on Friday I went to the fire department and asked them to take my blood pressure. Indeed, it was really high and they encouraged me to see a Dr. I absolutely didn’t have time and told them I’d go on Monday. During my performance on Saturday night to live music with Americanistan, I felt an amazing sensation woosh through my body and knew I’d just had a healing. Sure enough, I had my blood pressure taken again and it was perfectly normal and has been for years since.

For me, one of the greatest healing aspects has been the community of belly dancers.  I have made many close and life-long friendships through the dance and I can travel anywhere and feel a sense of belonging by just contacting local belly dancers. I instantly have something in common with complete strangers, the passion of belly dance.

My dance community has given me the strength and support needed to survive the emotional storms of life, and my fellow dancers have also celebrated the joys of my life. 

Without a doubt, belly dance is powerfully healing.

If you have a story about how belly dance has brought healing to your life, please share it by sending it to me at mezdulene@mezdulene.com. I'm thinking about publishing a new book on this great subject.

Love and Light,

Mezdulene

Don't Book on top of Us!

As the new year begins, I start looking ahead and planning my year. I mark important dates on my calendar such as the events I will be producing and the events I want to attend, plus any personal highlights such as grand children’s birthdays.

Once upon a time, I was one of a rare group of sponsors here in the Northwest. To attend an event that I didn’t produce, I had to drive 200 or more miles because events were few and far between. Now there are events most weekends and I have to pick and choose between them.  Now we all have to pick and choose.

I read on Facebook yesterday that a new event was starting, an event I would love to attend and the inspiration for this weeks blog. I was very excited to see this new event happening, until I saw the date; they booked it the same date as Belly Dancer USA, an event I have done for over 30 years. So, needless to say, I don’t get to go to this new event and neither do my students and several vendors.

This event is far enough away and in a big city, so it has the potential to be successful, but many events fail because they book on top of established events.

So, I’d like to tell you a few stories about events that booked on top of me and give you some booking advice.

Many years ago, when dinosaurs roamed the earth, I heard about a new belly dance festival and I was excited! It was only two hours away and something I could just go to and have fun without doing all the work. Then I got the bad news; it was booked on top of Belly Dancer USA. I contacted the sponsor and told her about the conflict, and asked if it were possible to change the date. Her response was “absolutely not!”  As usual, Belly Dancer USA was successful but her event failed and she never tried to produce another event which was a loss to our local belly dance community.

Not too long ago, someone else booked on top of Belly Dancer USA. Their event struggled to break even and the sponsor heard about all the people going to BDUSA, (the well-established event) and contacted me to see when my future date would be so she could book around it. She handled the whole thing with grace and respect and I honor her willingness to work with me so that the belly dance community would benefit from both events.

I also sponsor, Mezdulene’s Belly Dance Retreat, another well-established event deep in the Oregon woods. It’s not open to the public and only attended by dancers and vendors, so someone I knew decided to change the date of her popular event to the same weekend of my retreat thinking it wouldn’t matter because her event was different and in another state. I called her and pointed out that it might be a problem because I had helped her establish her event and promote it so many of the attendees were my students and friends who would be at my retreat and that we had several vendors in common that wouldn’t be able to attend, so even though they were different events far apart, there was a conflict of interest. Her response was anger. Not only has she not spoken to me since, but her event failed. It had been a very successful and fun event to attend every year and was a sad loss to our community. 

Then there was the year I was going to sponsor a fabulous dancer in a workshop and show and someone booked on top of me. When I contacted , she said, “I’m sorry, but it was the only weekend I could get because she’ll be on tour from Egypt.” I ended up having to cancel my event due to a lack of attendance.

Years later, someone booked on top of her and she contacted me and told me she had talked to this person and she said, “I’m sorry, but it was the only weekend I could get because they’ll be on tour from Egypt.” I didn’t say anything but had to chuckle to myself that someone did and said the exact same thing that she did and said so many years before.

So here is my advice.

Before you pick a date for your event, pay attention to the events in your area that are already established. Booking the same weekend or even the weekend or two before or after other events will harm your event. People can only afford to attend a certain amount of events and they will most likely choose to attend the well-established event that they know will be a good choice for their money.

Also, look outside of your immediate area. If there is a national event such as Belly Dancer USA within your geographic range, it’s probably not a good time to have your event. People drive and fly hundreds of miles to such events, and vendors are going to go where they know they will be successful.

Believe me when I say that vendors can make or break your event. Dancers love to shop and it’s important to have good vendors. That’s a given. But, some people don’t think about how the big sponsors travel to different events several times a month and they will be telling people about your event.

Work of mouth is your greatest form of marketing and advertisement. So when people talk about your event, you want them to be saying, “I can’t wait to go to……do you want to come with me?, or I’ll be vending at…….and it’s a great event, you should come.” You don’t want them saying, “I’d love to go to…… but it’s the same weekend as…….., or I wish I could go to……..but it’s booked on top of my favorite event…………”

So there you have it, my lovelies.

May you all have great fun at all the wonderful events you attend this year. For me, events are like a big family reunion full of hugs and catching up on news as well as fabulous music and dancing.

Hoping to see you there,

Mezdulene

 

The Light is Returning

The Winter Solstice is the shortest day of the year and is celebrated around the world by various cultures and belief systems. There is a lot of symbolism around the solstice, but as the caption of the photo above says, “For though my faith is not yours and your faith is not mine, if we are each free to light our own flame, together we can banish some of the darkness of the world.”

I believe that faith is a personal thing. I have Christian friends, Jewish friends, Muslim friends, Pagan friends, Hindu friends, Buddhist friends and the list goes on. Each of my friends are beautiful souls and believe in the power of love, and together we light up the world!

I use light as a symbol for love. I tell people that my religion is love and I believe that the more we love, the lighter the world becomes. Love has the power to bring joy and banish suffering, it has the power to heal and it has the power to create great blessings. For instance, I just watched a special where a couple lost their daughter and started an organization in her name to help homeless children. Their love for their daughter lives on and continues to grow as it creates love and safety for hundreds of children.

Love is the most powerful force in the universe and it is important to use this force each and every day. The more you give love, the more love you receive and the light just grows and grows.

I have a small women’s group and we meet each Monday focusing on spirituality and healing. This coming Monday we will be doing our own version of a Solstice ritual where we will be letting go of things we want to leave in the past/darkness and claiming what we want to bring into the present/light. It’s a time of new beginnings where all seems possible. Stating our desires in a group and witnessing with love what each other wants to manifest is a powerful thing as we support each other’s dreams.

What do you want to leave behind; what no longer serves you?

What do you want to manifest as the light returns?

And, on a practical note, Vitamin D is a great supplement for this time of year. Where I live, we get very little actual sunshine because it rains so much and the sun we do get comes in at an angle and diffuses the UV-B rays that enable us to produce Vitamin D on our own. So for us northerners, SAD disease or Seasonal Affective Disorder is pretty common during the winter months and Vitamin D is an important supplement to help counteract it.

Also, stress and sugar are not your friends this time of year so try to remember that love is the greatest gift of all, much better than fudge. Smile!

Love and Light to you all,

Mezdulene

 

Creative Giving

Creative Giving

It’s that time of year, the time of giving. December is the holiday season for many belief systems and a time to give gifts to our loved ones.

In years past, I agonized over gift-giving. I’ve lived most of my life below what is considered poverty level, at times way below, and I’ve managed to be pretty creative.  I discovered early on that I could make a gift that was worth way more than I could afford if I had to purchase it. For instance, one year, I made everyone quilts out of fabric scraps and many years I made everyone beautiful high-end jewelry.

I’m a giver. I love to give. It makes me feel good!

Of course I also love to receive!

Many years ago I started a new tradition of giving to myself. I was looking at all the pieces of beautiful art I had made for my loved ones and thinking, “Gee, I’d love to have one of these paintings myself.”

DING! It was a light bulb moment to realize that I could give to myself. I’ve made it a tradition, and have given myself everything from a book to a piece of jewelry to a piece of art. It’s fun to give to myself and I like to suggest to others that they start the same tradition. We all deserve to receive something we know we’ll love. Right?

As the years went by I became overwhelmed with stuff, and I began to value other kinds of gifts. For instance, gift certificates for a massage or a nice dinner are great gifts to receive, and they don’t collect dust! Recently, my dance students all pitched in for a tattoo gift certificate for one of our troupies.

Each year I have a dance studio Christmas party. We usually do a gift exchange or an ornament exchange. A few years ago, I started the tradition of re-gifting.  You know all those gifts you receive that you’ll never use? There’s that pair of beautiful sparkling pink earrings and you hate pink or that book you’ve already read or perfume you’ll never wear and the list goes on. It’s time to pass these things along to someone who might love them.

We put the gifts in a pile on the floor and draw numbers. Number one gets to go first and choose whichever gift looks appealing to them. They open the gift and then number two gets a turn. They can either pick out a gift from the pile or take number one’s gift and she gets to choose another one. It’s a fun way to do it.

I think my favorite year was the year I was moving.  I went through all of my dance costumes and baubles and bangles, decided what I wanted to let go of, put it all in a big pile in the middle of my studio and had a give away. Again, we drew numbers and one at a time, people picked out something they wanted. This time they got to keep what they chose and it was really fun watching my treasures become my friends new treasures. A lot of it was called my “Someday Stuff.” Someday, I’m going to make this, or someday I’m going to use that. I waited for years for ‘someday’ to show up but it never did, so now it’s someone else’s ‘someday stuff.’

This year we’re going to stuff silly socks with re-gifting items and do a sock exchange. I think it'll be a lot of fun and something different.

I have to admit that my favorite gift of all is the gift of friendship. One of my friends knew I was feeling a bit low last weekend, and she invited me over for dinner. It really cheered me up and was a wonderful gift to receive.

Anymore, giving gifts rarely involves buying things, and my life is richer than ever.

What are some of your gift giving traditions?

Giving and Receiving,

Mezdulene

 

It's Cold: Let's Dance!

It’s cold!

When I was a kid living in Arizona, we had ‘Snow Birds.’ Snow Birds were grey-haired retirees who wintered in Arizona. I didn’t get it.

Now I get it.

For most of my life I’ve been too hot. My thyroid didn’t work right so my internal thermostat was off. I absolutely couldn’t tolerate hot weather so Oregon was the perfect place for me where the weather rarely gets over 90.

After releasing a bunch of weight, a side effect was my thyroid started working better. What a wonderful thing when it comes to energy, but now I understand the Snow Birds!  I am cold, I tell you.

The other day, I sat on my couch next to the heater with long johns, pants, sweatshirt and coat under a blanket and still couldn’t get warm. My thoughts turned to Arizona and Hawaii, and warmth.

My dance studio is a remodeled shop/garage on my property with high ceilings and is hot in the summer and cold in the winter. So in the summer we work a lot on slow dance moves and in the winter it’s all about shimmies and other heart-pumping movements. It’s amazing how quickly it warms up when a room full of women dances together!

The holiday season can be a stressful time so it’s a good time to gather and dance together. I always have a show called ‘Winter Oasis,’ and we have a lot of fun dancing to Christmas music. We also wear green and red which makes it fun to come up with creative costuming. One dancer even wears battery powered lights on her costume!

Another thing we do each year is modify one of our class dances and use Christmas music instead of traditional Middle Eastern music.  This is really fun! Last year we danced to ‘Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer’ and wore antlers and red light noses that we found at the dollar store. One of our dancers had a broken leg and was in a wheelchair so she was the sleigh and we ended our dance leading her out of the room. This year we’re planning on doing our cane dance to ‘Sleigh Bells.’

Dancing can be great fun and stress-relief during this season. Holiday parties can be a great performance opportunity and nursing homes or retirement communities always love to have their season spiced up with a bit of belly dancing. Add some flavor by mixing in Christmas music and creativity abounds!

On another note, I have some costumes for sale for the voluptuous dancer and here are the links. These costumes are gorgeous and I hate to see them go, but they can’t be altered to my new size due to the exquisite beading. They would make great gifts for someone.

Happy Holidays,

Mezdulene

P.S. This is the time of year we think of giving but we often forget to give to ourselves. Please take care of you by giving yourself plenty of time to rest and regenerate when you need it. It will help you stay healthy so you can enjoy the season

My Gratitude Attitude

Yes, it’s Thanksgiving, but I give thanks every day of the year.  It’s a way of life for me, and it’s changed my life by helping me focus on the positive and achieve happiness.

Today I want to talk about my gratitude for belly dance. I know, that’s a shock, NOT.

Anyway, I am grateful for the dance and for what the dance has given me.

Belly dance has given me healing and empowerment by helping me overcome shyness, sadness and so many fears. It’s helped me feel good about myself both physically and emotionally and best of all helped me leave victimhood behind as I walk tall in my life.

Belly dance has given me fun! I love dancing and I love making and wearing fabulous costumes. I also love traveling to events and seeing new places.

Best of all, belly dancing has given me friends, some of whom have become my chosen family. My belly dance sisters have been there for me through thick and thin. I can always count on them to hold me up when I’m down and to celebrate the good times. There is nothing like being wheeled down the hall to emergency surgery and seeing the hallway filled with belly dancers! Talk about feeling loved. And my Hawaiian-themed birthday party? Well you get the gist! Love and fun! What could be better.

This week’s blog is a short one because I’m off to pop the turkey into the oven. My kids and grandchildren will all be here today, and there are no boundaries to my gratitude about having my whole family together.

Happy Thanksgiving,

Mezdulene

 

Focus on the Good!

Focus on the Good

This past week was a time of violence in Paris, Beruit and Kenya where hundreds of people were killed and even more injured. Just a month before that, there was a mass shooting at the Umpqua Community College where I teach belly dance. To be sure, these are horrors, and we can’t help but feel distressed, but what I want to talk about is the huge backlash of love that happens during times like this.

Since I live in a community where something like this just happened, I can assure you first hand that there is much more goodness and love around here than there is badness and hate.

I think that when we all first heard about what happened at UCC, we were shell-shocked and almost numb. It was so hard to believe that something like this could happen in our small rural community, and it just didn’t seem real at first. But it didn’t take long for people to move from thoughts of shock and horror to thoughts of how to help and heal.

Every reader board in the county says something about praying for UCC and staying strong. Banners were unfurled, thousands of candles lit up local gatherings and people came together uniting in the common cause of supporting the victims and their families with everything from free counseling to service dogs on the campus when it re-opened.

It wasn’t just locally, but people around the world were praying for our community. Millions of prayers were directed our way and President Obama even showed up in our little town to show support to the families of the victims.  While some people focused on fear and anger around this event, I chose to focus on the outpouring of love and healing.

I believe that people are inherently good. Whether it’s a natural disaster or mass shooting, it brings out the good in people as they rally and are motivated to give. People truly want to help.

One woman I know contacted all the alternative healers in our area, rented a room at the fairgrounds and had a day of free healing for anyone in the community who needed it. A dancer I know is arranging a fund-raiser for the victims. Throughout the community from individuals to big business, support is being given to those who need it.

This is what being human is about. The overwhelming majority of mankind wants to help, and when we focus on this, focus on what is right in the world instead of what is wrong, our lives can be much more fulfilling and filled full.

Now, let me tell you a story about 9-11.

Terrorists attacked the United States on September 11, 2001, and my annual belly dance retreat was scheduled to start just three days later on September 14, 2001.

Now this was before Facebook and back in the day when people still used phones. I received calls from all over the country from other event sponsors asking me if I was still going to have my retreat. Belly dancers around the U.S. were concerned that it might not be safe to attend a Middle Eastern dance event after this attack, afraid they might be targets for picketing at best and violence at worst.

My thoughts were that canceling our events would let the bad guys win. Plus, I found out during Desert Storm that most people don’t equate belly dancers with the Middle East.

Some people canceled their events and those who didn’t had no problems.

My retreat is not open to the public and is held deep in the Oregon woods or boonies as I call it. I wasn’t worried about anything except whether or not people would attend.
So, here is what happened….

Every single person who registered for my retreat, except two, showed up. One had emergency surgery and one had a preemie grandbaby make an early appearance.  So, that was great.

However, because the airports were shut down, a few teachers didn’t make it and one of my teachers worked for the Red Cross and couldn’t make it. So as people arrived and checked in, I was asking known teachers if they could fill in, and people graciously volunteered for a class.

When we did our introductions around the campfire, a few people talked about feeling guilty coming to a dance event when the country was in mourning and over the weekend we did several healing circles sending prayers and healing energy to the crash sites. Several dancers approached me saying they were so glad they came, that being with their sister dancers really helped them through such a difficult time and that the healing circles gave them a sense of doing something rather than feeling helpless. 

It ended up being an amazing weekend, one that we will all remember and hold in our hearts.

When a disaster happens, we can’t all hop on planes and go help. We don’t all have money to donate, or the time and energy to hold a fundraising event. But we can gather in groups, hold hands, have moments of silence and prayer. We can all reach out to each other for support and remind each other of the need for gentle kindness during stressful times. We can all smile at each other and at strangers and remember the good in the world and count our blessings.

On that note, someone once told me that there is good in every situation. I remember lying on the floor after a fall wondering what could possibly be good about this situation. My husband had left me, I lost my home and my car and I fell while moving. I was determined to find something good and it came to me. When I fell, I fell on top of the suitcase I had been carrying. I thought, the good in this situation is my fall was cushioned by the suitcase and protected my face from slamming into the cement floor. Somehow this struck my funny bone and I started laughing. I swear I instantly moved from victim to victorious.

Yes, it was that simple.

Finding the good,

Mezdulene

 

 

 

Cheating is Defeating!

I recently attended a birthday party where there was a giant chocolate cake which used to be my most favorite food group. It has grain, protein (eggs) and dairy, right? Unfortunately, it also has sugar in mass amounts and sugar is poison to me.
 
So I sat and watched three people on ‘diets’ eat a piece of that decadent cake and when I questioned their choice (because I’m blunt that way) they said it was a special occasion and they were having a ‘cheat day.’
 
This gave me food for thought and obviously a topic for my blog!  It’s about food but is also about belly dance, so for those of you who don’t have food issues!  Read on!
 
I don’t have ‘cheat days.’ It isn’t because I’m so special or so goody goody, it’s because I’m a sugar addict and chocolate cake is my crack. Sure I could eat just a small piece, but then I’d be tortured with cravings for hours afterwards. Why would I do that to myself?
 
Many people say they can have just a little bit and their craving is satisfied. For some, that’s true, for others it’s just something they say in that moment and in the next moment they eat just a little bit and those moments just keep coming.
 
If I cared about what others thought or about societal conditioning I would have dropped weight long ago, but I don’t. I care about me and how I feel inside and out. So having a ‘cheat day’ is cheating myself of feeling good and it’s a huge risk that I’m not willing to take, the risk of going back to bad eating habits.
 
I’ve watched many friends try to diet and fail and wondered why I am succeeding after so many years of failure myself. I read a Facebook post the other day and it became clear. The post was something about pumpkin pie and whipped cream in the break room and what torture it was to resist.
 
It wasn’t torture for me to watch all my friends eat a piece of decadent chocolate cake, not at all.
 
So I asked myself: what’s different, now?
 
What’s different is that I now focus on what I can eat instead of what I can’t. And! Instead of thinking of a diet as deprivation or punishment, I think of it as a way to heal my body. It’s a mental thing, about changing my thoughts.
 
I can eat delicious grapes, a crisp apple, or some decadent pineapple if I have a craving for sweets, and I’m satisfied and go on with my day craving-free.
 
Success is mostly a mental thing, thinking about what I can eat instead of what I can’t, thinking ahead when I’m on the run but it’s also about wanting to feel good and wanting it badly enough to change my thoughts and habits.
 
So what does cheating have to do with belly dance?
 
Well, have you ever had that troupe member that doesn’t practice? She’s too busy and thinks she can just wing it by watching her sister dancers.  This is cheating! She cheats herself first and foremost out of a good dance experience where she’s confident with her ability to do the choreography and second, she cheats her troupe mates when she gets on the stage and blows it causing her sister dancers stress and taking some of the fun away from group dancing and performing.
 
I’m a busy person also, but I won’t get on the stage with my dance friends unless I know the dance. I will do whatever it takes to learn the choreography. I’ve always been a ‘busy’ person, so if I don’t have the time to physically practice the dance, I’ll run it in my head and think through each movement of the choreography until I know it. I always have it written down to refer to when I forget something. I’ll do the dance in my head as I lay in bed ready to fall asleep or when I wake up in the morning or when I’m driving, waiting in line, etc. There is always time to learn and memorize choreography.
 
There is usually one place in each dance that I have a brain glitch and can’t seem to remember what the next move is. It’s a strange thing and I don’t know if it happens to anyone else, but if I have trouble with a certain step transition, or step-combination, I work on just that aspect of the dance and repeat it several times until it becomes natural. It only takes a few minutes when I don’t have time to practice the whole routine.
 
Success in eating well depends on my mental state, just as success in a troupe performance depends on my mental state, memorizing the routine so that I know it just like I know the list of foods I can eat. It’s also about wanting to feel good about my performance (and my sister dancers) badly enough to do what it takes to learn the dance.
 
As teachers, we always have those students who focus on what they can’t do instead of on what they can. Can’t is a four letter word that isn’t allowed in my studio! Belly dance is so diverse that I can teach anyone to dance; even people in wheel chairs!
 
You can’t do a backbend to the floor during floor work? Well, neither can I anymore, but I can do beautiful hands, arms and hips.
 
You have a bum knee? Well, so do I and it doesn’t keep me from dancing.  A bum ankle? Shoulder? You feel too old? Too fat?
 
Don’t let anything stop you from dancing! Please allow yourself the joy of dance and let me or someone show you the movements you can do and how to modify movements for your body. For everything you can’t do, I’ll show you several things you can do!
 
Your mind is a powerful tool and changing your thoughts to what you can eat or what you can do, will literally change your reality.
 
I have an 81 year old student who has had brain surgery and foot problems. Her movements are limited, but that doesn’t stop her from dancing. When she came to class a couple of weeks ago with her gorgeous, new silk veil, my heart was so very happy. When I asked the class if they would be open to performing a dance, she was the first to speak up and say, yes!  She is a perfect example of the ‘can do’ crowd.
 
You can do anything you set your mind to. You just have to want it more than you want to hang on to self-imposed limitations or fears.  Don’t cheat yourself out of feeling good inside and out. Don’t cheat yourself out of feeling joy.
 
YOU CAN DO IT!!
 
Your Manifesting Mentor,
 
Mezdulene

More Costuming Peeves and Hints

I got several responses to my last blog, and I’ll share some of them, but first I want to talk about troupe costuming.

In my opinion, there should be a consistency to troupe costuming. 

I’ve had a troupe for many years. I love troupe dancing, adore it and work hard at it.  You can ask my peeps in our Mystical Oasis Student Troupe; (M.O.S.T.) how seriously I take troupe.

Jasel and I spend hours creating a choreography, then we spend weeks teaching and learning the choreography, and more weeks practicing that same choreography! So, when we perform, I want the audience to see the dang choreography!

Ya know what I’m sayin’?

Whether it’s a soloist or a troupe, when dancers make an entrance, the audience looks at them first, to see they look like and what they are wearing and then they see the dance. That’s just the way it is. So, as I said in my last blog, if there is a costuming problem, it draws the eye and it’s hard to watch the performance.

I love watching other troupes perform, and I want to see their choreography, floor patterns and creativity. I’ve also judged troupes in competition for many years, and if you want people to see your dance, you need to have matching costumes.

When a troupe comes out in matching costumes, it takes only seconds to see the costumes and then you are almost immediately drawn into the dance.  When a troupe enters with inconsistent costuming, the audience looks at each dancer and what she is wearing; it distracts from the performance.

I once judged a lovely troupe who had great energy, but there were six of them and each one had a different costume. When I say different, I don’t mean color. I mean, there was a tribal costume, a cabaret costume, a ‘Gypsy’ costume, etc. It’s great to allow for each dancer to express who she is with her costuming, but it’s very distracting.

To me, troupe dancing is a group of dancers who dance together as a team or a tribe, not a bunch of soloists sharing a stage and doing the same dance. It’s the synchronicity that makes troupe dancing, so riveting to watch.

So here are some troupe costuming tips:

Costuming needs to match. You can all wear the same exact costume, or the same costume in different colors. I’ve also seen the same colors but each one has a different belt design which isn’t too distracting.

When I design a costume for my troupe, I either make them all the same, or the same but in different colors. Sometimes we have matching jewelry and hair adornments, and sometimes with these aspects, I allow for individual expression.

For our Halloween set, we dressed as zombies one year and vampires the next and all individually designed because it was just for fun, not serious like a theatrical stage show.

One of my pet peeves is a troupe with the exact same costume down to the jewelry and hair pieces and some have belly covers and some don’t. To me that is Tacky with a capital T. If one person wears a belly cover, everyone should be wearing a belly cover. I hate it when I see the ‘big’ girls with belly covers and the ‘small’ girls without them. A belly cover looks good on everyone, people!

I also believe that troupe costumes should be made to flatter ALL figures! I’ve seen some real sad sights, very distracting sights, cringe worthy sights.

My troupe consists of a variety of women from petite to voluptuous and from average height to six foot. We constantly get complimented on our costumes because they are designed to flatter any figure.

So that’s my two cents on troupe costuming and now for feedback from other dancers on costuming boos. They brought up several good points that I didn’t mention.

I once watched a dancer (well really her boobs) whose bra was cut so low I don't know how her boobs didn't jump out.  One of my biggest pet peeves is dancers who do not cover their bras with material before decorating.  They use a colored bra and just hang stuff off of it, but to me it still screams "under-wear" not costume.  Also along those lines is not covering the back of the bra - dancers should cover all "bra parts" or wear a vest of some sort to cover the back of the bra. …………..R. B.

I have an additional pet peeve. I cringe when costuming, (and dancing), clashes with the type of music. I love the creativity I see in tribal and alternative belly dance, but not when it disrespects cultural traditions.  I once took a Middle Eastern friend to an event.  She had a great time, clapping and smiling at all the dancers, except for one in alternative costuming dancing to a modern mid-eastern song.  I don't even think it was inappropriate or insulting, but to her it was jarring, confusing, and she just plain didn't like it.  I had a lot of explaining to do.  ………….S. J.

Like minds flow together. So here is the thought I have been pondering. I notice that a lot of the newer costumes are leaving a lot of exposure between the breasts. What you see is pretty much half the breast and pretty close to the nipple. Too much gap! It’s too much exposure for my taste. I have given this a lot of thought; am I being too picky? Am I over-dramatizing a difference in costume style? After much thought, this is what I came up with. When I see this type of costume, my eyes keep wandering back to the cleavage to see if one or both of the girls have fallen out. I am so busy ‘cleavage checking’ that I miss the dance and any other beautiful aspect of the costume. I feel like I am in the middle of a train wreck, don’t want to look but can’t help it. I just want to admire the beauty of the dance, dancer and costume and not worry about exposed body parts.  ……………...L.C

Costuming Peeves and Hints

October 29, 2015

I want to talk about costuming!  Yes, it’s almost Halloween, but I’m going to talk about belly dance costumes!  The photo above is a fun picture of a group of my students in diverse costumes taken by Fred Herinckx.

When I was a kid, my favorite thing to do was to play dress-up. I loved to pretend I was a princess or fairy or pioneer woman, and I would spend hours creating different costumes from whatever I could get my hands on from scarves to high heels to sheets!

So, when I first started belly dancing, I loved the aspect of dressing up! I lived in rural Oregon and the fanciest thing I got to wear was a t-shirt and jeans. To belly dance, I ‘had’ to wear sequins and satins. Be still my heart.

The other thing I’ve always loved is sewing and crafting. So for me, half the fun of belly dance is making and wearing fabulous costumes!

I once beaded a winged scarab on the back of a belt and interconnected ankhs on the front with eyes of Horus on the bra and a beautiful fringe that I beaded one seed bead at a time. I learned to bead growing up on an Indian reservation so I just switched from Native American designs to Middle Eastern designs.

When I traveled to dance, I would get so many compliments on my costumes and people would ask me where I got them. When I told them I made them myself, they would raise their eyebrows in wonder. Remember, this was long before beaded fringe and sequined appliqué’s came on the scene and costumes at that time were made with coins. (I’ve always been ahead of my time!)

I’d like to share some costuming pet peeves and tips with you and hope you find them helpful.

First and foremost, your costume should enhance your dance, not distract from it. Now, it’s common sense that boobs coming out the bottom of the bra, nipples out the top and cracks showing in the back are all distracters, but I still see it happening! And I forgot to mention the high slit skirts front and center and coochie shots during spins. I don’t want to see that, and if I do see it, I can’t see your dance because my eye is automatically drawn to your costume boo boos.

Now, that’s a given, but there are other costuming distractions. I once watched a dancer who had a scarf draped over her shoulder and tucked in her belt back and front as an accent to her costume. It slid off of her shoulder over a dozen times during her dance and she’d pull it back up. She should have either pinned it in place or the very least tucked it in at her shoulder. While she was dancing, it never occurred to her to tuck it in her neckline or just let it drop off of her arm and instead of watching her dance, I watched her pull up her scarf at least two dozen times each time wondering if she would tuck it to secure it.

Another distraction is when a costume doesn’t flatter the dancer’s figure. A belly hanging down over the front of the belt is distracting. Belly covers are easy to come by and can be very flattering to all kinds of figure flaws. The same goes for sleeves and not just for bat wings!

Straight beaded fringe can made a torso look shorter and a heavier dancer look heavier, but a ‘V’ shaped fringe can make a torso look longer and flatter the figure.

A face covering is very distracting. It can be great for a dramatic entrance, but then get that thing off your face! And then there is hair. Hair hanging in the face is not sexy; it’s distracting and both of these things block your energy and keep your essence from flowing into your audience.

Now if your hair falls into your face when you’re a wild woman in your dance, that’s one thing, but don’t leave it there and don’t style it that way. Sorry, but it’s not attractive. Really it’s not. Either way, your audience is waiting for you to get that hair where it belongs instead of watching you dance. So, make sure your hair is secure with a head piece or clip, or please just reach up and brush it out of your face. I don’t care if moving your hair isn’t in your choreography because I won’t see your choreography if I’m looking at the hair in your face.

Enough said about hair in the face!

When you costume, it’s important to make sure the color works for you, the shape of the costume flatters your figure, all your lady parts are covered and secure and that you have appropriate embellishments such as sleeves, jewelry and hair adornments. You want to be beautiful and add brilliance to your dance; you don’t want to be remembered for your awkward costuming.

I wrote a booklet called "Costuming Expose, Tell All True Stories!" It’s filled with true stories about costuming and it’s free if you sign up to receive my blog/newsletters on www.mezdulene.com. If you already signed up before I made this offer, and want this booklet, just drop me an email and I’ll send you the pdf file.

Happy Costuming,

Mezdulene

P.S. I’d love to receive some replies on this subject!